The essays on the following pages, written by CUNY students who took the CPE in Fal12001, are printed with permission. Their purpose is to present a sampling of student essays that demonstrate the various levels of writing proficiency. The six essays are printed in descending order of excellence.

Essay A       United States of America. From the crowded streets of the Middle East to the small villages in Siberia, these words conjure an image of a super power, rivaled by none. To the world, we are one, but much like everything else, this view changes from a different perspective. To an average American, their country is divided into various groups, be it economically, socially, or for any other reason. According to Robert B. Reich, any modern society undergoes sorting processes, leading to separation of the once traditional communities. Such phenomena, in turn, lead to numerous social ills which can easily be observed in our 21st century society. Phillip Slater notes that some of these ills stem from our inability as Americans to face the social problems and find a way to effectively deal with them in the long term. What are these sorting processes ripping our nation, and are we really so bad at dealing with them?       Sorting, according to Reich, is not something intentionally evil, done to separate the community. Instead, it is a result of people wanting the best for themselves and their loved ones. Each segment of modern society has its own version of this sorting mechanism. In terms of housing, for example, all people want to live in the best place their money can buy. If a person is wealthy, they will want to live with other wealthy people. They have common interests, their neighbors won't rob them, there will be a school with high budget in that neighborhood, and so on. Not only that, but these people wouldn't want poor residents moving in for the same practical reasons. Over time, this creates a rich neighborhood and the poor slums. In terms of education, bright people want to go to the best school, to get the best education. Such a school wouldn't be too happy about accepting a student with lower abilities, in turn creating a group of highly educated people and those with very little knowledge. Even in the insurance business, rich people with low risks don't want to pay large premiums for something they will never collect. So they form their own groups, which leads to poor people with high risks having to pay a larger insurance because everyone else in their group is also very high risk. In all these cases, it can readily be seen that sorting is the direct result of looking out for yourself and your loved ones, rather than some malicious intent. This agrees in a way with what Slater is saying, namely that Americans, generally do not look ahead to the consequences of their actions in the long term. To fight poverty, for instance, we would rather create a committee and sign a law than analyze our actions and see that they eventually lead to the separation of the rich and the poor into distinct residential areas, adding to the poor's already substantial woes. On top of that, while the traditional community, forged by thousands of years of experience, was equipped to deal with certain problems, the modern nuclear family, according to Slater, is clearly not. As an example, he cites our tendency to put people into penal institutions, i.e. prisons, mental hospitals. In a traditional society , a lot of these so called miscreants would be taken care of by the extended community. Today, a single mother working two jobs obviously cannot handle a mentally deviant son as effectively.       These are just some of the specific examples that support both the authors' theories. There are many more. One that particularly strikes me as being very significant is the potential future of human cloning and its possible effects on separation of the community. To elaborate, much like parents wish the best schools and playgrounds for their children, so do they also with the best genes. So far, this has been no more than wishing, but with the power genetic science is certain to bring about, will those parents do something about it? In this case, those who can afford such procedures would be the rich. This might lead to a group of wealthy children imbued with superior genetic composition and a group of poor children without any of this. Certainly something to think about.       Slater's ideas also seem to ring very true to a certain extent. After all, America is the land of the "quick buck" and the "get rich quick schemes." Our patience is very lacking and to see through deep social changes requires lots of it. Personally, I am as guilty as the next person of looking the other way. For instance, some of the clothes I buy are made in sweatshops in third countries by small children working for next to nothing. Like others, I know about this, and like others, I know that perhaps I am capable of certain actions such as boycotting the company, which could bring about social change. However, and unfortunately, also like most others, I shrug and think along the lines of, what can a single person do, and continue on. This refusal to deal with the consequences of out actions is exactly what Slater is talking about.       In conclusion, in modern societies, particularly the United States, the traditional community is being separated into economic and social groupings through the process of sorting. There is no malintent to this phenomenon, it is simply the result of human self-preservation. However, its effects, coupled with the American tendency to avoid dealing with long term problems, lead to various social ills, problems that will not go away.

Comments on Essay A: Score = 6
A perceptive analysis of the reading selections and a unified, tightly-organized structure make this a strong essay. The writer focuses on America's social problems from the start and weaves together a discussion of both author's views, while integrating an effective critical perspective throughout, including a thoughtful reflection on appropriately chosen personal knowledge and observation. The specific references to both texts are well-selected, and the writer's comments on the texts help to maintain the superior coherence of the paper. The writer expresses complex ideas in clear, fluid prose, using varied sentence structure and precise language.

Essay B       In both essays, Robert Reich and Phillip Slater are both trying to convey a similar message; the world has changed tremendously from the past, and so have its people. Reich mainly discusses, communities and how they have evolved, and Slater discusses Americas' inability to solve the problem of the rich getting richer, and the poor getting poorer. I feel that both are really saying that we have to change our way of thinking, in order to solve the problems that we will face in the future.       Reich starts off his essay by quoting the last scene from 'It's a Wonderful Life.' He brings up the point that in the past when someone was in trouble, the community would all pitch in to help out. "If George is in trouble-count on me." People looked after one another in their communities, because their community was like an extended family. In contrast to today, Reich says 'we bowl alone.' He says that we don't really know our neighbors that well, and that communities today are more like a commodity , something that we can purchase, rather than something we participate in like barbecues, and bake sales with our neighbors. Reich feels that if we are unhappy in our community it is simple for us to pick up, and search for another community that we can get the most out of. During the earlier parts of the 2Oth century , things weren't that simple. Most people were born into one community and died in that community, regardless of wether or not it was by choice. However, in the latter half of the 2OTH century, due to modern technology and other changes, the rules became less rigid. People began to choose communities that were able to give them back, as much as they put in. "We get what we pay for, and we pay not a penny more than necessary for what we get."       The problem with people switching communities, in order to get the most out of what they pay for, is that a sorting process starts to emerge. We separate ourselves into, "Communities of people with roughly the same incomes, the same abilities, the same risks, and the same needs." By doing so, we create a huge gap between what is called 'the haves', and 'the have nots'. Those who can afford to give more end up getting a better education, better medical attention, and better quality of living, because they are living in the communities with people like themselves. However, those who can't afford to put in that much to a community, end up being lumped together with people like themselves, leading to a lesser quality of education, healthcare, and the general standard of living. It's really like a dominoe effect once the sorting begins. Since parents are forced to send their children to schools they can afford, those parents that are poor, get a poor education for the children. Those children are less likely to go to college, and find higher paying jobs with a degree. Those children, who are now adults and are working at low paying job choose a community that they can afford. And so, the sorting continues.       Reich goes on to say that no one intended for this to happen but, "It's the product of a large number of separate decisions by individuals seeking to do the best for themselves and their loved ones." He also says that the sorting itself reduces people's awareness of the problem, because they only live around people like themselves. However, Reich feels that, "we are not slaves to present trends.." He feels that we can change this process. We have to open our pockets, and our hearts a little more, to help the people that are at a big disadvantage.       Slater's essay, focuses more on Americas' inability to solve problems that we face today. He feels that, "People in the United States have a compulsive tendency to avoid confronting social problems." Slater feels that America is filled with people who are good at running away from their problems, because most people that live here are people that came from a mother country, that in some way opressed them. Therefore, when a problem arises that they have difficulty solving, they move somewhere else instead of dealing with the problem itself which is another way of sorting or come up with a quick solution, that doesn't really solve anything. Slater also feels that American people can't "anticipate the consequences" of what they do. He uses the example of poverty .As much as America realizes that there is poverty, there aren't really any major changes taking place to fight it. He says American people will just wait for some magic formula to cure the problem, or print an article about the problem, and then deem the problem as cured. Once again, the gap between the rich and the poor widens and the sorting process continues. Slater, like Reich is trying to tell America, that unless Americans actually do something individually to try and solve the problems that we face today, the problem of society today will continue on indefinently.       As an American citizen, I see the sorting mechanism, and realize Americas naiveté in solving problems. I live in a community where most of the people I know went to private schools, live in houses, and drive cars. However, when I drive out of the community I also see that many people live in apartment buildings, send their kids to public schools, and in general have a much lower standard of living than myself, and my peers. There is no quick and easy solution in solving this problem, yet there is a solution. If we as Americans can come together, and each individually try to help, I think that we can resolve the issue of the rich getting richer, and the poor, poorer. We have to stop the sorting process from continuing, or else there will never be an end to poverty, poor education, and the like.

Comments on Essay B: Score = 5
This upper level paper addresses the writing assignment fully, centering changes in thinking needed to resolve the problems examined in the two texts. The writer demonstrates strong understanding of the texts through accurate summaries of the relevant portions of the texts, with especially well-chosen and acknowledged quotations to support the argument. The writing is effective and generally correct.

Essay c       Robert Reich gives an example of how communities sort people into economic groups, "We're sorting ourselves into communities of people with roughly the same incomes,. .., Where we live has more to do with how much we earn than ever before." (p 2) This statement shows that how much money someone makes does seperate people from different incomes. What happens is the rich are separated from the poor. By doing so the rich can afford better health care, day care, school and whatever else they want. Meanwhile those who aren't rich and can afford these things are the ones who need help and aren't getting it This causes chromic social problems.       Philip Slater says, that Americans avoid confronting chronic social problem's is by making institutions for those who can't care for themselves into "human garbage heaps." They make everyone else's life easier. That is what Americans want --easier. We would rather drive a car than take a train to get somewhere. Slater believes that we have become a society who rates money over relationships, and those who put self-aggrandizement ahead of love and loyalty. An example of this is my friends' grandmother when she got so old that she couldn't walk anyone, his parents put her in a retirement home. They did this because its easier to send someone away rather than help them and care for them.       Loyalty is gone in America as both authors would agree. Reich says, " An unprecedented share of Americans now enjoy the freedom to escape the communities they were born into. They can choose whom they join with, and then switch to another group if they wish." I have seen this many times. Whenever I watch T .V. I see famous people who were born into a poor community and then become rich and move out of their poor community and into a rich community. If this person was loyal they wouldn't of moved out They would have stayed and help the community out. Slater agrees with my example by the following statement, "we gained an undue proportion of persons who, when faced with a difficult situation, tended to chuck the whole thing and flee to a new environment."       When people who are making a lot of money move out of a community and into another community they make their old community poorer. If enough people do this one community will come a slum while the other an upper class community .What happens now is the people who live in the slum have to send their children to horrible schools, and terrible hospitals. Because the people with the money left the community. While those who left the community and now live in an upper class community send their children to greats schools and hospitals. This is what Reich calls the, "new economy-whose incomes have eroded the most, whose earnings are the most precarious-are ending up together in the same poor communities. Their schools are among the worst..., This sorting process started years ago but its' become far more efficient, just when the people who are being sorted away into neglected communities need help the most" This is the case with New York City and Long Island. Most people who earn large incomes live in Long Island. However they work in New York City. Their money doesn't go into the economy of New York City. That is why New York City schools are suffering while Long Island schools are among the best in the state.       The reason why Americans avoid confronting chronic social problems is easy. We can just get up and get out of the situation. There is no loyalty .Why try to fix something if you can just move away from it and let others deal with it? Americans want things easy, getting up and moving is the easiest thing to do.

Comments on Essay C: Score = 4
This mid-range paper shows a good understanding of the reading selections. The essay covers the key points of the writing assignment, step by step, while integrating personal knowledge and observation in several places. Although there are some writing errors, the ideas are generally clear.

Essay D       The improvement on the technology gives us wider choice and makes our live better. However, it also creates more problems to us. Philip Slater's "Engagement and Detachment" mentions "People in the United States have a compulsive tendency to avoid confronting chronic social problems." As he urges Americans should pay more attention on the social problems as they aggressively to improve their economy.       On "Engagement and Detachment", Philip also points out that American people does not confront the problems as its go along. They always try to escape or avoid. As Philip stresses Americans "fled in the hope of a better life" and puts very little attentions "to the negative side of selections." Because that people in the United States become separate in parts. Rich people and poor people same to have their own society. They are not try to solve the problems and help each other. They just aviod it and move alway from the problem. Philip states "the 'ease' of social technology makes us bored, flabby, and insensitive, and our lives empty and mechanical." People's live sames doesn't have value at all.       Such is the idea that ties in Robert Reich's "The Community as Commodity." Robert stresses "Americans lack community" that people are not longer joining together and helping each other. The community is like a market. He states "We're not joining as participants; we're joining as consumers." The relationship between people and people is as buyer and seller. People become coldly to each other. As he mentions rich people search the best to live exclude the poor people. They go to affluent school to try to get always from poor. Why they do that? Because they try to avoid the terribly neighbors and unsafe place. They want to get alway from the troublemaker in the school. It's same as Philip mentions on "Engagement and Detachment", those people afraid to confront the social problems.       The only difference bettween Robert Reich's "The Community as Commodity" and Philip Slater's "Engagement and Detachment" is that Robert has point out the problems and Philip doesn't. In "The Community as Commodity", Robert states the different problems on "The Sorting Mechanism", "Residential Sorting", "School Sorting"," University Sorting", "Risk Sorting", and the "Reprise: The Sorted Community." He states people sorting house makes the rich people and poor people live in separate place. It makes rich people and poor people don't communite any more. Also by sorting the best school for their children, the richer people had neglected the poor students and those students are not intelligent. University sort for best students. It makes the best & worst student separate. And the worst student lose help.       In connection to Robert Reich's "The Community as Commodity" and Philip Slate's "Engagement and Detachment", they both point out the problems in our society, but they both don't give the ideas how to solve it. In my opinion, the crisises is not so improtan; try to solve the problems is the most things that is improtan to everyone. As to helping the worst student getting better, we have SEEK program and tuitoring center to help the students. By collecting taxes from richers, we use it to help the poor. We provide more social workers to help the trouble-makers in our society. We are not "mechanical." When the tragdy happen in the Word trade, there are people to help. We should try to do better it not to crisise what's wrong.

Comments on Essay D: Score = 3
Although Essay D does respond to each of the key points in the writing assignment, the connection among the parts of the essay is missing at times. The writer's summary of the Reich text is a little thin, and the essay does not fully explain the relationship between the two texts. This essay is rated a "3" largely for its weaker handling of the two texts and for the unevenness of its sentence writing. The frequent errors are distracting, and occasionally impede comprehension.

Essay E       The seperation of community in society is determined by a person social or economic status. Nowadays, a person can choose the society or community they thought suits their life styles. Community now and then changed drastically because of individualism. People tend to think of their happiness before others.       In the essay, "The Community as Commodity," Robert B. Reich, illustrated that the modern community tends to have a wide variety of choice wherein a person can choose according to their economic status. People who are financially stables tend to have more choices and they tend to think of themselves rather than others and people who are not financially stable have limited choices on "the community" they wanted. Those people whose financially stable doesn't want to help other people.       In connection to Robert B. Reich, "The Community as Commodity," Philip Slater's "Engagement & Detachment: Getting Involved" Slater emphasize that the Americans avoid confronting chronic social problems wherein he is showing that American think of themselves before others.

Comments on Essay E: Score = 2
This mini-essay does not address the complete writing assignment, leaving out the last two points: personal knowledge and observation and an evaluation of the writer's perspective on the ideas of the authors. The essay's treatment of the two texts is very slight and the relationship between the two texts is only hinted at. The writer also has some difficulty distinguishing between the ideas in the texts and the ideas expressed in this essay. The opening paragraph, for example, does not make clear whether these are the writer's ideas or Reich's. In this brief essay, there are few correct sentences.

Essay F       According, to Robert Reich and Philip Slater people are not forced to continue "sorting" for themselves. They can actually decide that onder things are more important like, "On Mutual obligations as citizens extend beyond our economic, and reorganize ourselves accordingly." But if you put all of the above function like the choice the wealthier person have "University Sorting "School Sorting " Residential Sorting". It would not be in their advantage since peopl alway looking out for what's in their best interest. Byall these technologies invention, people are more likely to seeking for the best, it is easier to move to better place, we will do it. Philip Slater he views people in different country are moving to "America" to seek for a better life. He also suggested that elderly people are not force to be place in other communities, because they " present a familiar difficulty that can be confronted daily and directly". According to both man's where every your in place is in life, eitheir in a poor " community" elderly housing" or a wealthier "community, is a way each individual decides his own fate and "sorting" in the result of those people decisions lumped together. For the weathier he no longer have to worried about helping the poors, if he choose to move to a better community, that can prevent them from all kind of risk in life. However according to Philip he felt that "very little attention has been paid to the negative side of the selection. By leaving behind the poor people on other difficulty , would not solve the problems in society. By avoiding the "burden" we creating and unstable society"

Comments on Essay F: Score = 1
This essay is very difficult to read because the writing is not clear and there are many serious lapses in the use of conventional English. Although the writer mentions both authors, there are no appropriate summaries of the texts, and once we get past the good first sentence, the essay includes serious misunderstandings of the texts.

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